Before we even started the trip, we knew that the van had a bum battery. “If you leave the lights on, or the radio,” we were warned, “she won’t have enough juice to start up again after you turn off the ignition.” Wishing to avoid trouble, we were diligent in avoiding potentially battery-draining activities; on the way down, ignition was not a problem.

But the battery got worse. By the time we were headed home, ignition was a problem… if we turned off the vehicle, it would not start up again. As it turned out, the extra battery-pack we brought along — used for jumping dead van batteries — needed an extra battery-pack of its own to charge itself. And the jumper cables had gone missing.  And it became apparent that a very important part of the ignition process is having fuel to ignite.

As you know, gas stations like you to turn off your vehicle while you fill the tank. I’m not sure exactly why they request this — does it present some kind of fire hazard? Is it in fact about emissions, and the harmful effect of breathing in exhaust fumes while you’re standing beside your tail-pipe and pumping gas? Wishing to avoid trouble (see a pattern developing here?), I asked the gas jockey if he’d mind if I kept the engine running. “That’s okay,” he said. “But you didn’t hear that from me.” At this point, the girl behind the cash register headed behind the store, fleeing, no doubt, the impending disaster.

Various thoughts ran through my mind as I unscrewed the fuel cap at the MacEwen station along the 1000 Islands Parkway. After all, don’t some jets refuel in mid flight? It’s not like they turn off their engines during the process. Cursing Ben Franklin, I inserted the nozzle, and squeezed the handle.  The Texas Tea started flowing, and I am glad to report that nothing blew up as it was pumped into the running minivan.